Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Craigslist Made Me Smile


I'm sure the busy-bodies will have a flagging heyday with this ad in our Houston-area Pets Section, but the text (minus the photo of the sweet "pet") is below, unedited as I found it. Read on and enjoy!

Pure Bred Needs Good Home... (Katy)
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Reply to:comm-5g9nk-1202470559@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-02, 8:09PM CDT

Although it saddens me to see her go, I am interested in rehoming my 89 year old pure bred White Anglo Saxon Protestant grandmother to someone who will give her a good home. She has the cutest little wrinkled face and shiny silver hair! If someone does not adopt her I will be forced to put her in a retirement home. The retirement homes in my area are unfortunately too full already and most new additions are put to sleep immediately since they simply don't have room for them. She responds to "Edith" although you can call her whatever you want since she can't really hear too well. I've had her for as long as I can remember but unfortunately I just don't have the time to give her the attention she needs since I am having a baby, moving into an apartment where they won't allow pets, my boyfriend has allergies, and I have to pay for some unforeseen medical bills. She is in excellent condition and is up to date on all of her vaccinations. She is mostly housebroken and is able to do some cool tricks like drive to WalMart (as long as it isn't more than 2 miles away), misplace objects like her glasses in her pockets, or do the laundry even if only 1 pair of socks is dirty. She subsists mostly on frozen Eggo waffles heated in the toaster and microwaveable mash potatoes and meatloaf with an occasional treat of peanut brittle when she has been extra good. For some reason she enjoys heating drinks like orange juice and 2% milk in the microwave before consuming them. We have spoken to a vet about this and they have assured us it is perfectly normal for a specimen her age. She's good with kids and other pets and has tons of stories to tell them or anyone else who isn't listening, unfortunately I have heard them all already. Her natural habitat is a 10'x10' room crammed with old couches, pictures, dusty lamps, and other crap. It is also very important that she has access to a TV with no remote (too complex) and only three channels; the weather channel, QVC, and the Tele-evangelist network. The last piece required for an ideal enclosure is a window overlooking at least a mailbox and preferably a neighborhood street; a large majority of her time and energy will be spent observing the proceedings in the neighborhood and commenting on them out loud to herself. I originally paid $50,000 for her, plus an additional $10,000 for her enclosure, but I am only asking a small rehoming fee of $15,000 to cover her recent knee replacement surgery which she has recovered from nicely. This is a unique opportunity for those of you who have kids who will neglect and lose interest in their pets after several months since this is the environment that she thrives in. I hate to see her go, but I know someone out there will be able to provide her a better home for the several years she has left. I will include her habitat as well as all toys and accessories (including her beloved electric heating blanket); local pickup. Serious Inquires only please.

•Location: Katy
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

8 comments:

  1. I just love it when smart people decide to post on craigslist.

    The post made me smile, but it also made me sad.

    As I sit here with my 14 year old cat, that I adopted when she was 3, that needs a storage bin with a hole cut in the side for a litterbox because she pees over the side of regular store litterboxes. That cannot be left alone for longer than two full days because she is unable to "conserve food" like cats are "supposed" to do. That throws up everything she ate too much of. That has never been given "people food" by me but is obsessed with doritos and tostidos pizza rolls. That only likes to play when a person is working the play object. That gets excited and purrs over the brushing of teeth. That gets excited and purrs over making the bed - she likes to sit on the sheets while they move. That always insists at being in the same room as all the people. I'm told by my roommates she sleeps on the carpet by the door when I am gone overnight. She sleeps with me every night and is ALWAYS there when I wake up in the morning. That lies still while I clip her claws, only if I make it fast. That has all her claws and has never destroyed anything with them. That runs away from children. And hides. That does not always like to be picked up and held, but will often find a spot next to or half on a person to sit. That makes eye contact with me all the time, every day. She is also afraid of mice and thunderstorms. There was a time she would take car keys, bugs and rolled up feminine products and put them under the sheets, in the bed. It has been a process of not allowing her access to these items, where she has dropped the habit (many years ago).

    Anywho, it has been 11 years of great fun, learning and companionship for not only me but the people around me. She sat with me while I typed this and I took a short video. I'm going to put it on my blog.

    I cannot imagine abandoning her for ANYTHING. She would never be really happy with someone else. I am not being selfish, I know this about my 14 year old cat. I will not "re-home" her. I will not hire a "sitter" that does not have an interest in her. I will do everything I can to keep her healthy. I always take note of what she drinks/eats and what she pottys every day. If her personality were to ever change drastically, I would seek a vet immediately. I will not leave her when it's her time. I will not make her suffer for any prolonged period.

    So many things, but so EASY.

    So, yeah, very good CL post, but makes me sad. Because there are people that just don't get the loyalty/responsibility issue.

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  2. Thank you for your heartfelt reply. My 9-year-old min-pin is rather like your beloved cat--full of quirks that would cause many folks to send him back to the dog pound (where we adopted him from 8 years ago). But he's our dog and when he's good, he's very, very good, and we love him.

    It just amazes me how easily people give up animals--even when they can see how horrible the Shelter is, they still hand us the leash.

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  3. That was a good read. Thank you for posting.

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  4. PS --- I wanted to thank you for taking the time to come by my blog in the month of May and leave a few comments. I appreciate your input. Hope you come by again soon!

    DogsDeserveFreedom

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  5. Very clever and way too true. I have taken in too many dogs to count that this has happened to. And a few horses. I have been the safety net for them, but it's not possible for me to be there for them all. I think instead of licensing dogs we should license people. Don't get me started on horses.

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  6. The re-homing fee business is just baloney. I was able to find a beautiful 6 month old Lhaso Apso on Craigslit for free. Her owners just couldn't afford her. But, prior to this, we were hit up by many people demanding money for their pets. One even wanted us to wire money to Kamaroon (sp?) Hello! Thanks for the chuckle.

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  7. What a fabulous ad! The definition of a farce: the dumb people laugh nervously and the intelligent people laugh, shake their heads, and think about how to change things.

    I have never been able to give up animals, even the ones that I don't particularly like. I have a black dog named Pepper. I don't know why I really don't like her. She was left here by the previous farm owners. She's always underfoot, looking for attention, and she leaves black hair everywhere. I suppose I prefer my beagle that lies out of sight, and clearly feels that our presence in her home is an imposition.

    But I wouldn't let anyone else have Pepper, except maybe my parents. She's my responsibility and I hug her and love on her and tell her she's a good girl. She's not my type of dog but she's still a dog that needs stability and affection. I couldn't possibly give her away and not know how she was being cared for, or imagine her confusion at being turned out of our family.

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  8. OMG, this was one of the funniest things I've ever read on Craigslist! Thanks for the chuckle!

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